It's A Long Road, Baby, Running Away
by MadameLupin
Summary: After 1x07. Emma Swan just wants to be alone after Graham's funeral but a chance run it leads her to realize that old habits are tempting to give into.


_It's A Long Road, Baby, Running Away_

**A/N**: I don't even know where this came from. I started it literally after watching all seven episodes last week. I thought Graham's death could open a lot of door ways for Emma in relation to her own personal issues and I wanted a moment between David and Emma. So. This.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or have any affiliation with '_Once Upon A Time_". _ABC Productions_ and _Disney_ hold all rights. Title from "_Here We Go_" by Mat Kearney.

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><p>Emma Swan doesn't shed a single tear the day that Graham is laid to rest.<p>

She refuses to let _anyone_ - least of all _Regina Mills_ - see her break down. Giving that woman any type of satisfaction would be unthinkable. Even the idea of Regina being _here_ burns her. Especially when she knows that the woman had something to do with what happened to Graham. Call it irrational or the delusions of a grieving mind but she _knows_.

God, she's going crazy, has to be if Henry's fairytale theory sounds more and more plausible by the second, which is _crazy. _Maybe Graham had remembered something else? Something non-crazy-fairytale-theory related?

It's unlikely. Not with everything that had happened the day of his death.

The ability for Emma to deny has long since passed. There have been too many coincidences in this town. Coincidences that give way to a pattern she can't quite decipher. There is something rotten in the town of Storybrook.

Any rational mind would tell her to simply walk away to do what she's always done. But running isn't an option no matter how much she wants to. Not when she can still feel the weight of Graham's dead body, or how she knows the warmth of Mary Margret's friendship and the soft sound of Henry's laugh.

At first it was a matter of principle but, as always, it got complicated.

Emma Swan used to not do complicated. Complicated was usually when she got that itch under her skin. She would pack up what little she owned and just _go_. Her skills at finding people also gave her the unique ability to simply disappear.

Graham's sudden (and unexplainable) death shook the small community hard. Not just because a healthy and fit man suffered a heart attack out of the blue either. For some reason the inhabitants didn't experience much death (or birth, for that matter). That was suspicious enough for Emma to raise an eyebrow and she had ignored the pointed look Henry had given her.

It was _crazy._

All throughout the service the Mayor had been watching her like a hawk. No matter how surreptitiously or subtle about it she tries to be Emma can feel her eyes beating on the back of her neck. Despite her childish urge to whip around to yell, "_Take a picture it lasts longer, Regina_," Emma instead holds Mary Margret's hand as the woman sniffles into her tissue. Being a mature adult really puts a damper on some things.

She doesn't really hear what's being said. Graham hadn't been a particularly religious person, nor did it seem as if he had a lot of close friends. The funeral is bland and it strikes Emma as all wrong for him. Beside her, Mary Margret's dark head is bowed and she's got a tissue to her nose and mouth barely holding back tears. Graham was her friend; a person she cared about and had history with.

Grief is a feeling Emma is familiar with. It's been her lifelong companion.

When Regina speaks Emma completely tunes her out not caring what that woman has to say. She knew Graham and knew what kind of man he was. She doesn't need pretty words said behind a veneer of mourning to know.

Graham's final secrets belong to her and her alone. It's petty and just a little shameful to feel as triumphant about that as she does. It pleases her that there's a piece of Graham she that she didn't get the chance to tarnish and take away from him.

It takes a while for people to leave. Emma remains in her seat until the only two that are left are her and Regina. They don't speak. Regina's eyes narrow cat like, as if she's spotted her prey and is getting ready to pounce. Emma meets them defiantly as she rises.

Regina can kiss her ass for all she cares. There is a time and place and this is neither.

Much later, when everyone else has gone home, to Granny's or to the wake at Regina's, Emma sneaks down to the unused playground. If she has to deal with one more, "_I'm so sorry_." or, "_He's in a better place_." she'll - well, she's not quite sure what she'll do but it won't be pretty.

Sitting on the ramshackle wooden castle she looks out of the choppy sea not really seeing much of anything.

"Oh." She hears behind her and swivels her head.

Emma had expected Henry to be the one to seek her out, or even Mary Margret. Not David Nolan. Except it appears by the surprised look on his face he didn't intend to find her. She guesses he also had sought to be alone.

"Hello Ms. Swan." He says politely, with a slight inclination of his head as he comes to a stop. The gesture makes her crack a tiny smile. It's so _charming._

"Mr. Nolan." She returns.

Silence settles between them. He shifts awkwardly crunching gravel beneath his feet. "I should be going." He offers hesitantly, clearly not knowing what to say.

"Nah." She shrugs, "You don't have to there's plenty of space for the two of us."

Indeed there is. No one is here, usually never is. This playground is out of the way and worn down. She's only ever seen Henry here and now her and David. It seems more a secret fort where the password is the desire to be alone.

His presence is comforting. Something about him makes her feel as though no harm will befall her long as he's around. It's all contradictory to what she should feel about the man. He broke Mary Margaret's heart, for one thing. She can't just forgive that.

David leans against one of the beams to look out over the ocean. She watches him. She hasn't had a real opportunity to speak to him.

"What brings you out here, anyway? I thought you'd be up at the wake at the Mayor's?" His wife after all was Regina's _BFF_. Kathryn Nolan had become a fixture at Regina's side and the town acted as though it had always been that way. Emma knows it's just this side of strange. She kind of hope Kathryn's niceness rubs off on Regina, but she doubts it.

He nods, laughing humorlessly and removes his hands from his pockets. "You'd think, right. I liked Graham, he was a good man, and he helped save my life. All this though, it just feels forced."

Emma nods. "Yeah," She pauses and then adds, "I understand, about the forced feeling to it all. I still can't really believe it - but here it is." She slapped her hands on her thighs and looked down at her hands.

The palms are reddened and they sting just a bit.

"It wasn't your fault." He says and that makes her head snap up. "I mean, you're clearly blaming yourself. But you shouldn't."

Her mouth works trying to find words and none come out. He just cut her legs out from right underneath her.

"I'm not blaming myself. Why would I blame myself? The Doc said it was natural causes, an unknown heart condition." Her heart still doesn't buy it but that's her grief talking.

David inclines his head in thought as he toes the gravel making deigns only known to him. "When someone we love dies unexpectedly we always ask ourselves if we could've done something different. That maybe if we had then things would be different. It's natural. You are no different. I have the impression that you've moved around so much because you'd rather leave before anyone else has the chance to leave you just like your parents did."

It's like a smack to the face. She feels exposed and caught in a way that very few people had ever achieved. In a few moments David Nolan had sussed out something it took her years to even _begin_ to acknowledge.

Her response is automatic. Heat rising in her cheeks she gets to her feet, "How dare you make assumptions about me. This has nothing to do with my parents and what they did or did not do to me," Emma pauses mid-tirade, "How do you even know about that?" Her arms cross putting them between her and him.

He has the grace to look sheepish like the words had just slipped out without his permission."Uh, Kathryn talks. A lot. Apparently the good Mayor discusses you quite a bit." He explains.

She's the subject of gossip between the two bosom buddies during Sunday tea she bets.

She notes that he doesn't look even a little afraid of her from her outburst which irks her all the more.

"Just because I have abandonment issues doesn't mean anything." She waves that off, "Graham died. I was _there_." She keeps her voice as steady. Sometimes, if she stands really still, she can still feel the weight of him.

"Then why are you out here? Separating yourself from those that care about you and want to help you?" He says his tone that of eternal patience and makes her feel like a chided child.

She is _not_ wallowing in self-pity.

"Emma," David approaches her and places his hand on her shoulder, "Go home. Stop running."

She honestly doesn't know if she can. Running is just her default mode. She's been fighting it from the moment she stepped into Storybrook. The more Regina pushed the more she'd dug in her heels out of stubbornness. But the urge to cut her losses before they hurt too much was still there.

But it was too late, wasn't it? She had put down some roots that were too tender to be pulled.

The honesty on his face is just too much for her. Her hands drop and she turns away.

"Easy for you to say," She bites, "Why are you out here anyway?"

David releases a sigh. "Let's just say you're not the only one who doesn't want to deal with false platitudes."

Maybe they weren't so different underneath it all?

"Can't take having to pretend to love your wife in front of Regina?" A beat, "You're kind of obvious about it."

Everyone in the town knows the Nolan's have marital problems the size of Saturn. They just don't gossip as freely about it as they do about Emma because apparently that's just something not done, sensitively to poor Kathryn Nolan, or whatever their reasoning is. Hypocrisy is more like it.

"It's hard." He says abruptly, "She expects me to be the man she married and I'm not that man anymore if I ever was. And then Regina is way too invested in our relationship." He pauses, looks down at his shoes, and frowns. "Oh what does it matter? I shouldn't bother you with any of that."

Emma gives him a sad kind of smile. She doesn't know what to tell him, not really. So instead she nudges his shoulder, "Maybe you should take your own advice then? Stop running."

"Now that's a problem for another day, isn't it?" David chuckles, "Today's not about me anyway."

He gestures her towards the road. "Go. Let Mary Margaret fuss over you. And I'm sure Henry needs you."

She kind of feels a bit better and maybe a little lighter too. Beating herself up isn't going to bring Graham back and he probably wouldn't have wanted her to carry the burden herself.

"_This_ stays between us."

He nods seriously, "Of course, I'm Prince Charming after all. I'd never tell a lady's secrets." He gives her a conspiratorial grin that makes her pull a face and groan, "Not _you_ too." She throws her hands up in defeat. "I'm giving that boy an intervention later."

She's deluded herself into thinking she wasn't giving Henry's theory serious consideration not even a few hours ago. That was just crazy.

Turning to go she stops and looks back, "Don't think you're off the hook either Mr. Nolan. Lest until Mary Margaret stops trying to scrub the dishes into submission." The flinch she sees gives her satisfaction.

Now, she could go for some hot chocolate with cinnamon and then stop Mary Margaret from cleaning


End file.
